Lou Costello
(as Harvey Garvey)
The Derelict:
Quiet! People will think you're crazy.
Harvey Garvey: Oh, and I suppose you're all right?
The Derelict: Of course!
Harvey Garvey: Of course?
The Derelict: I have a brother who is crazy -
[screaming]
The Derelict: but I'm all right!
Harvey Garvey: [gasping] Who told you?
The Derelict: My brother!
Harvey Garvey: That does it, brother!
Harvey Garvey: Oh, and I suppose you're all right?
The Derelict: Of course!
Harvey Garvey: Of course?
The Derelict: I have a brother who is crazy -
[screaming]
The Derelict: but I'm all right!
Harvey Garvey: [gasping] Who told you?
The Derelict: My brother!
Harvey Garvey: That does it, brother!
Lou Costello
(as Harvey Garvey)
Peter Johnson:
We've got to outsmart Uncle Nimativ. You go in and outwit him.
Harvey Garvey: Why should I go out with him? I'm afraid of that man!
Peter Johnson: Not to go out with him. Go in and outwit him.
Harvey Garvey: Why should I go in and go out wth him? I mean, he don't appeal to me!
Harvey Garvey: Why should I go out with him? I'm afraid of that man!
Peter Johnson: Not to go out with him. Go in and outwit him.
Harvey Garvey: Why should I go in and go out wth him? I mean, he don't appeal to me!
Bud Abbott
(as Peter Johnson)
Peter Johnson:
You love her?
[laughs derisively]
Peter Johnson: Oh, come on, you wouldn't get to first base with a beautiful girl like that.
Harvey Garvey: Yes, I would.
Peter Johnson: Did you ever take a good look in the mirror?
Harvey Garvey: No.
Peter Johnson: Why not?
Harvey Garvey: Why should I hurt my own feelings?
Peter Johnson: Never mind!
[laughs derisively]
Peter Johnson: Oh, come on, you wouldn't get to first base with a beautiful girl like that.
Harvey Garvey: Yes, I would.
Peter Johnson: Did you ever take a good look in the mirror?
Harvey Garvey: No.
Peter Johnson: Why not?
Harvey Garvey: Why should I hurt my own feelings?
Peter Johnson: Never mind!
Lou Costello
(as Harvey Garvey)
Harvey Garvey:
Do I have to especially go now?
Peter Johnson: You just split an infinitive!
Harvey Garvey: Well, I mean that...
[feeling his own rear end]
Harvey Garvey: Does it show?
Peter Johnson: You just split an infinitive!
Harvey Garvey: Well, I mean that...
[feeling his own rear end]
Harvey Garvey: Does it show?
Lou Costello
(as Harvey Garvey)
Harvey Garvey:
Have you a reservation here?
Jailer and clerk: No.
Harvey Garvey: Then I have to take my business someplace else.
[he starts to leave but is restrained by guards]
Harvey Garvey: I changed my mind. I'll take the room.
Jailer and clerk: What's your name?
Harvey Garvey: Harvey D. Garvey.
Jailer and clerk: Where born?
Harvey Garvey: Under a sink.
Jailer and clerk: How do you know?
Harvey Garvey: I heard the water runnin'.
Jailer and clerk: No.
Harvey Garvey: Then I have to take my business someplace else.
[he starts to leave but is restrained by guards]
Harvey Garvey: I changed my mind. I'll take the room.
Jailer and clerk: What's your name?
Harvey Garvey: Harvey D. Garvey.
Jailer and clerk: Where born?
Harvey Garvey: Under a sink.
Jailer and clerk: How do you know?
Harvey Garvey: I heard the water runnin'.
Bud Abbott
(as Peter Johnson)
Prince Ramo:
[from inside his jail cell] Don't worry! I'll get you out!
Peter Johnson: [being locked up in a nearby cell] Who's gonna get YOU out?
Peter Johnson: [being locked up in a nearby cell] Who's gonna get YOU out?