Larry: Why would anybody want a fountain pen that writes under whipped cream?
Moe: Well a... a fella can be out in the desert where there's no water to write under, can't he?

Moe: [Shemp's on fire] Hey Larry! He's been smoking in bed again! Get the water and the axe!
Shemp: Put me out!
Moe: [getting him out of bed] You nitwit, you brainless idiot you!

Moe: Hey, there's something funny going on around here... I got it, you know Shemp said he was coming back to Earth to haunt us.
Larry: Ah let him come, I ain't afraid of that fat head.
[Shemp hits Larry in the stomach and the head]
Larry: Moe, why'd you hit me for?
Moe: I didn't touch you.
Larry: That's what I was afraid of. Shemp's here! It's him! His ghost just hit me!