Lucius K. Winfield: Well, I don't mind having a fortune hunter in the family, but I'll be darned if I'll stand for a piano player!


--Eugene Pallette (as Lucius K. Winfield) in The Bride Came C.O.D.

Sam Salt: I can't make head or tail outta' you, Mr. Chang. Are you Chinese, or are you white, or what are you?
Mr. Henry Chang: My mother is Chinese. My father was white.
Sam Salt: You look more like a white man to me.
Mr. Henry Chang: I'm not proud of my white blood.
Sam Salt: Oh, you're not, are you?
Mr. Henry Chang: No, I'm not.
Sam Salt: Rather be a Chinaman, huh?
Mr. Henry Chang: Yes.
Sam Salt: What future is there in bein' a Chinaman? You're born, eat your way through a handful of rice, and you die. What a country! Let's have a drink!


--Eugene Pallette (as Sam Salt) in Shanghai Express

Sam Salt: I don't know what you're saying brother... but don't say it again.


--Eugene Pallette (as Sam Salt) in Shanghai Express

Sheriff Rufe Jeffers: [performing wedding ceremony in jail] Friends, we're gathered here in the eyes of God and one another for the purpose of joining together this here man and this here woman in holy matrimony. Can't nobody rightly say nothin' agin marriage, 'cause I reckon God intended everybody to live that-a-way. 'Cause every living human on this earth has got to find his mate sometime or other. And when God put Noah in the ark, he told him to take two of everything. 'Cause God knowed that was right, and I guess he knowed what it was to be lonesome. Now, if Duke and Fleety Belle here had a notion, they're only carrying out the Word of God.


--Eugene Pallette (as Sheriff Rufe Jeffers) in Steamboat Round the Bend

Philo Vance: What do you think of the suicide theory now, Sergeant?
Detective Sgt. Heath: Well, it's slightly complicated since the man was shot, slugged and stabbed himself - particularly in the back.


--Eugene Pallette (as ) in The Kennel Murder Case

Steve Collins: This is Californie, they were married by a justice of the peace from Nevada, so legally they're not married.
Lucius K. Winfield: Well if they're not married, that's fine.
Steve Collins: But they THINK they're married! And they're flying back to Los Angeles for their honeymoon!
Lucius K. Winfield: They think they are and they're not?
[laughs]
Lucius K. Winfield: That's the funniest thing I've heard in years! They think they are and they're not! And they've gone back for their honeymoon?
[stops laughing]
Lucius K. Winfield: What am I laughing about? That's my daughter.


--Eugene Pallette (as Lucius K. Winfield) in The Bride Came C.O.D.

[repeated line]
Fray Felipe: [each time he whacks a Spanish soldier over the head with a club during the final battle scene] God forgive me! God forgive me! God forgive me!


--Eugene Pallette (as Fray Felipe) in The Mark of Zorro

Little John: It'll take all the deer in Sherwood Forest to fill that belly!
Friar Tuck: And twice that to fill your empty head!


--Eugene Pallette (as Friar Tuck) in The Adventures of Robin Hood

Little John: You'll sweat the lard out of that fat carcass of yours before this day is over, my pudgy friend.
Friar Tuck: And I hope some Norman sword whittles you down to size.


--Eugene Pallette (as Friar Tuck) in The Adventures of Robin Hood