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Enchantment

Enchantment

Grizel Dane: I sent him away.
General Sir Roland Dane a.k.a Rollo: Then if I were you, I'd go and find him. Don't cheat yourself of love the way I did. Listen to me! Don't stop to bargain for happiness, for in one wasted moment, a door may close, a ship may sail, a train may leave, a man may die. Go after him or make your mind you'll never see him again.


--David Niven (as General Sir Roland Dane) in Enchantment

A Kiss for Corliss

A Kiss for Corliss

Taylor: If I were Archer, I'd be after you with a shotgun!
Kenneth Marquis: Well, a shotgun is customary only in cases where the bridegroom is unwilling. I, on the other hand, am panting with eagerness. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Taylor: Humph! One slip up and you're the formerly wealthy Mr. Marquis. Aside from Archer, your stockholders won't stand for any more escapades in court.
Kenneth Marquis: [phone buzzes] Yeah? It's Pop. Probably wants another retraction. Hello, Pop. This is Sonny. Oh! Language! I don't know why you're so upset. Everyone knows that young love is, um, impetuous. Oh, please, Daddy Dear. I seem to notice a certain beligerence in your tone. You what? Consent? What? When? Oh, I see. You do? Oh, you don't. You will? Who? Me? Oh.
[hangs up phone]
Kenneth Marquis: I'm about to become a husband.


--David Niven (as ) in A Kiss for Corliss

A Kiss for Corliss

A Kiss for Corliss

Corliss Archer: Daddy, I've just got to have a dollar and a half.
Harry P. Archer: I told you to wait outside.
Kenneth Marquis: Rather than witness your churlish behavior, I should be most happy to advance or let's say donate the money myself.
Corliss Archer: That's very sweet of you.
Harry P. Archer: Don't take that money!
Kenneth Marquis: Your poor father's ungraciousness stems partly from a natural tendency to be stuffy, and an unnatural reluctance to part with his holding money.
Taylor: Kenneth, take it easy.
Corliss Archer: Oh, you don't know my daddy at all. He's really very -
Harry P. Archer: Don't speak to that man!
Corliss Archer: Daddy, about my dollar and a half -
Taylor: Archer, if we could get back to the business at hand -
Harry P. Archer: [to Corliss] I'll talk to you outside. Now. Alone.
Kenneth Marquis: If I were in your position, I should be completely underwhelmed.
Corliss Archer: It's been awfully nice meeting you, Mr. Marquis.
Kenneth Marquis: Oh, and if the indignity of taking money from Daddy Dear ever becomes too great to bear, don't hesitate to call on me.
Taylor: Stop needling Archer, or we'll never get a settlement.
Kenneth Marquis: You know, I'm seriously considering dedicating my entire life to the needling of Harry P. Archer. Nothing gives me greater pleasure.


--David Niven (as ) in A Kiss for Corliss

A Matter of Life and Death

A Matter of Life and Death

Conductor 71: You are determined to get me into this... salade.
Peter: And what about the salad you got me into?


--David Niven (as Peter Carter) in A Matter of Life and Death

The Little Hut

The Little Hut

Sir Philip Ashlow: Don't make such a fuss, old boy. Stiff upper lip.
Henry Brittingham-Brett: I didn't fall on my upper lip.


--David Niven (as Henry Brittingham) in The Little Hut


The Moon Is Blue

The Moon Is Blue

Donald Gresham: Believe it or not, I never touched her.
David Slater: You know, it just occurred to me, that might very well have been the wrong you done her, according to Cynthia's book. Now I can understand why she was so sore this morning. A very humiliating experience. I probably should beat you up, anyway.
Donald Gresham: Let me get this straight. I am to be horsewhipped for *not* seducing your daughter?
David Slater: It's quite a new twist, isn't it?


--David Niven (as David Slater) in The Moon Is Blue

A Kiss for Corliss

A Kiss for Corliss

Harry P. Archer: [Addressing the court] Seldom in my long career as an attorney have I ever encountered a man who can claim no virtue. But I say to you, you have such a man in your courtroom today. Cold-blooded and ruthless, unmoved by the pain he has caused, Kenneth Marquis smugly sits there gloating. And a poor, loyal, trusting girl suffers. A girl, I say, and yet, she is little more than a child, innocent, and unworldly. Kenneth Marquis treated her like dirt, your honor. And from the moment they were married, yes, even on her bridal night, insults and injuries were heaped upon her.
Kenneth Marquis: [to his attorney] Included in that heap was a 50 foot schooner and a string of pearls. To say nothing of a blond mink, a silver blue mink, and a rainbow mink. Bless her furry little heart. Much as I dislike that poisonous wench, I'm beginning to dislike that attorney of hers even more, if possible.


--David Niven (as ) in A Kiss for Corliss

A Kiss for Corliss

A Kiss for Corliss

Harry P. Archer: [Holding a paper announcing his daughter's engagement to Kenneth Marquis] Did you see this?
Kenneth Marquis: I gave out the story.
Harry P. Archer: Did you - ?
Kenneth Marquis: Dad, do I take it that you're not altogether pleased?
Harry P. Archer: Why you -
Taylor: Congratulations, Archer.
Harry P. Archer: Shut up! I'm going to sue your client -
Kenneth Marquis: Oh, Dad, I hope Corliss hasn't inherited your bad temper.
Harry P. Archer: What do you mean by this? Answer me! Answer me.
Kenneth Marquis: Do you think I was just trifling with a good woman's love?
Harry P. Archer: I wouldn't let Corliss marry you if - if - if - Call up and issue a denial!
Taylor: Oh no! All denials will be issued by you. We don't want any breach of promise suits.
Harry P. Archer: I'll have a retraction in the paper by - by - by six o'clock, and maybe earlier if I can get them to print a special edition.
Kenneth Marquis: Very well, if your daughter's happiness is so unimportant to you, I will try to bear up manfully.


--David Niven (as ) in A Kiss for Corliss

A Kiss for Corliss

A Kiss for Corliss

Uncle George: The groom usually has a father or brother stand up with him. Have you any close relatives who might - ?
Kenneth Marquis: One of my ex-wives?
Uncle George: Hardly. Let's get on with it. Louise. Uh, dearly beloved, we are gathered, um, so on and so on. To join together this man and this woman, and so on and so on. Well, there's no use going any further with this part of the rehearsal.
Kenneth Marquis: Certainly not on my behalf. I know it by heart.


--David Niven (as ) in A Kiss for Corliss

55 Days at Peking

55 Days at Peking

Dowager Empress Tzu-Hsi: The boxer bandits will be dealt with, but the anger of the Chinese people cannot be quieted so easily. The Germans have seized Kiaochow, the Russians have seized Port Arthur, the French have obtained concessions in Yunnan, Kwan See and Kwantang. In all, 13 of the 18 provinces of China are under foreign control. Foreign warships occupy our harbours, foreign armies occupy our forts, foreign merchants administer our banks, foreign gods disturb the spirit of our ancestors. Is it surprising that our people are aroused?
Sir Arthur Robertson: Your Majesty if you permit me to observe, the violence of the Boxers will not redress the grievances of China.
Dowager Empress Tzu-Hsi: China is a prostrate cow, the powers are not content milking her, but must also butcher her.
Sir Arthur Robertson: If China is a cow, Your Majesty, she is indeed a marvelous animal. She gives meat as well as milk, and yet grows stronger.


--David Niven (as Sir Arthur Robertson) in 55 Days at Peking

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